


Nothing in Common

by airgeer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airgeer/pseuds/airgeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The third annual New Directions duets competition pairs up Mike Chang and Kurt Hummel. Featuring: Angst! Misunderstandings! Hugs! Cavemen! (and Kurt's continuing tradition of odd song choices!) (Set around the midpoint of season three)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing in Common

Wednesdays were the literal worst, especially when your boyfriend had absconded to the front row of the choir room to whisper something into Mike’s ear with a wide grin on his face. Kurt had resorted to relieving his boredom by staring at Sugar’s vest... _thing_ by the time Mr. Schue finally came striding into the choir room.

 

“Okay guys!” he said loudly. Kurt straightened to face him, but Mr. Schue didn’t talk again until Sam and Artie had looked up from what was apparently a debate on the qualities of Jean Grey versus Emma Frost. Kurt could only hope that they were talking about comic books and not porn. He thought he recognized the names from when Sam had been playing some sort of video game with Finn, so he thought comic books were pretty likely. Unless they were making porn video games now. He cringed at the thought.

 

Oh, right, Mr. Schue was talking. He tuned back in just in time to hear “...And that’s why I’ll be randomly picking everyone’s partners this year. Everyone had a great Christmas break, and a duets competition is the best way to get back into the swing of things!”

 

“Mr. Schue, why do you always schedule the duets competition when we have an odd number of people?” Mercedes asked. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to wait a week or so? Just until someone quits?”

 

“Whose turn is it to quit, anyway?” Puck wondered. “It’s been a while since Rachel did it last. You up for it?”

 

“No!” Rachel exclaimed. “I’m counting my suspension from Sectionals as quitting, if we’re doing it like that! It’s Tina’s turn, or Artie’s. They never have.”

 

“Well, I’m not quitting,” Artie said. “I sat out the last duets competition, I’m not missing this one. Tina?”

 

Tina rolled her eyes. “Couldn’t we just have a group of three? No one has to quit.”

 

“Because it’s a  _duets_  competition, Tina, three people makes it a trio,” Kurt explained. “It’s not fair, especially if we’re voting for the winner.”

 

Santana turned to face him. “You competed by yourself last time, what do you call that?”

 

Kurt huffed a breath. “Mine was a duet in spirit, at least, which a trio would not be. Plus, I didn’t have an unfair advantage of more voting members on my team.”

 

“Okay, guys, enough,” Mr. Schue cut in as Santana wound herself up for a response. “We’re not voting for the winner this year, we’ll have a panel of judges, so the three person group idea is great, Tina, thank you.” Tina turned around to stick her tongue out at Kurt, and Kurt returned with his best sneer, but couldn’t hold it back from turning into a smirk.

 

“Who’s judging, Mr. Schue?” Rachel asked breathlessly. “My dads might be available, and I’m sure they would love to spread around their knowledge.”

 

“Well, it’s not exactly fair to have your parents judge a competition you’re competing in, Rachel, but thank you for the offer. No, the judges will be,” Mr. Schue paused dramatically, and Kurt took the opportunity to count off in his head  _him, Ms. Pillsbury, Coach Beiste and maybe Coach Sylvester_. “Coach Beiste, Ms. Pillsbury, myself, and Coach Sylvester, if I can convince her. Each judge will give a score out of ten, and then we’ll add them up, and the winners get a surprise!”

 

“Is it actually supposed to be a surprise, or have you just not figured out what is yet?” Santana asked dryly.

 

“It’s a surprise,” Mr. Schue said with a wink. “And now, without further ado, I have a hat here with all your names in it, and I’ll pull them out two, or three, at a time to assign groups.”

 

“Oh, wait, Mr. Schue,” Sugar said as he was reaching into the hat. “When is this competition? Because I just remembered that I’m going to the Bermudas with my dad next week, and it’s definitely to do with selling pianos and not organized crime.”

 

“Well, we were going to start on Monday,” Mr. Schue said. Or maybe said. Kurt was too busy staring incredulously at Sugar to really hear what he was saying. “The Bermudas” aside, had she just tacitly admitted her dad was a mobster? “When are you going? You might have to sit this one out, sorry.”

 

“That’s okay, Mr. Schue,” Sugar said brightly. “I’m not meant to sing duets anyway. I tend to overshadow my partner. I guess we’ll just have groups of two.”

 

“Well, okay then!” Mr. Schue said brightly. Too brightly, in fact, like he was studiously ignoring the possibility that the glee club’s main source of funding was the mob. “Partners it is!” He reached into the hat and pulled out two slips of paper. “And our first group is...Finn and Tina! Sit with your partner, guys, just to keep it organized.” Tina switched chairs with Rachel, looking slightly uneasy at the thought of facing Rachel’s wrath should the duet cross the invisible line between friendly and flirty.

 

The rest of the room paired off, Puck with Brittany, Mercedes with Rory, Artie and Sam fist-bumping when their names were pulled, Blaine’s face twitching into slight discomfort when his name was pulled with Santana’s, and Rachel smiling brightly at Quinn when they were paired together, which Quinn returned in a more subdued fashion. Finally, it was just Mike and Kurt left.

 

“Well, looks like our last group is Mike and Kurt,” Mr. Schue announced. Mike came up two rows to sit beside Kurt at the back, offering a hesitant smile. “Put your heads together guys, and I’ll circulate to help out if you need ideas. Sugar, why don’t you sit in with Rory and Mercedes for now, give them some suggestions?”

 

Mercedes’ smile slipped for only an instant before she put on a poker face and smiled at Sugar, who bounced up to sit beside them. Kurt stole a look around the room. Everyone seemed really involved in their conversations, so there was probably no need to talk in code to disguise their planning. He turned back to Mike.

 

“Okay, so I’m thinking big dance number, at least for you, a little less so for me. I have some thoughts about song selection, but I’d like to hear yours first. Any big ideas?”

 

Mike was staring at him, looking a little overwhelmed. Kurt quickly amended, “They don’t have to be  _big_  big ideas, this is just brainstorming, to get the ball rolling. Is there a song you’ve been wanting to sing?”

 

Mike hesitated a second longer, and Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Mike was as uncomfortable singing with him as Finn had been, but he pushed it out of his mind. He and Mike weren’t exactly close friends, but Mike was a good guy, probably the best in the club, and he’d never been anything but kind to Kurt. It was ridiculous to assume otherwise.

 

“Well,” Mike said finally. “Um, I like the dancing idea? But I don’t know any songs we could sing. Maybe you should just pick. You know a lot more about duets than I do.”

 

Kurt tilted his head to the side. Maybe he’d been singing too much with Blaine and Rachel, who both  _always_ had opinions about what songs they should sing, but being handed full creative control over song choice for an assignment had a heady rush of power to it. “Okay!” he agreed enthusiastically. “I’ll pick out a really good song for the two of us, and then you can choreograph it, how about that? This’ll be great, promise. We’re totally going to win.” He dug his iPod out of his bag and started scrolling through songs quickly, dismissing some completely and considering others.

 

Mr. Schue broke them up a few minutes later to do vocal exercises, but Kurt already had an impressive list to whittle down. Blaine came to stand beside him and took his hand, and Kurt flashed a grin at him and squeezed. Mike wasn’t ever someone who he’d thought he’d be singing with. It was going to be fun to change it up.

 

~*~

 

Kurt was late.

 

Mike leapt onto a chair and rode it down. That was always a popular move, and if they worked at it, Kurt could probably do it without breaking his neck. Whatever dance they did depended on the song he picked though.

 

Kurt bustled onto the stage, breathless and with an apologetic look on his face. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “I got held up.” His jacket was disheveled, and papers were sticking out of his bag. Mike could guess what he’d been “held up” by.

 

“Are the hockey jocks still bothering you?” he asked. “I thought that they’d pretty much given up on everyone since Rick had his accident.”

 

Kurt looked up at him warily for a second. “No, no, I was just...I was with Blaine. And we got distracted. Nothing like that happened. I’m fine.” He tugged his jacket down into place viciously, more harshly than Mike had ever seen him treat his clothes.

 

“Are you sure? Because I could, like, talk to them or something, maybe get them to lay off...” Mike trailed off as Kurt shook his head again.

 

“Seriously, I’m fine. It’s not like that.” He heaved a sigh and changed the subject. “Want to see the list of possible songs I made? It’s still quite lengthy, but I thought you would want some input.”

 

Mike knew when to let things drop. Sometimes he let them drop too quickly, like with his dad, but he knew when talking further wouldn’t help. He thought that he and Kurt were cool though. Not exactly  _best_ friends, but definitely friends. It kind of stung to realize that Kurt didn’t think that way, if he would rather lie than accept Mike’s help.

 

Or maybe he didn’t trust Mike still, or thought he would make things worse. Mike had never joined in on the dumpster tosses, or pee balloons, or the whole nailing lawn furniture to the roof thing, but he’d watched it happen, and never tried to help until last year when things with Karofsky got really bad. But Kurt couldn’t still be holding that grudge. He’d forgiven Finn, and he was almost friends with Puck, and they’d been way worse than him.

 

“Mike?” Kurt asked again in a careful sounding tone that implied he’d repeated himself more than once. “Do you want to see the list?”

 

“Sure, yeah, totally,” Mike said quickly, picking up the chair and setting it upright. “What sort of songs did you pick?”

 

“Well, you did that Jack Johnson song last year, but he’s kind of out of my wheelhouse, so that’s an issue. I found some Broadway tunes that I thought you might like, and some older classics, I know you like those.” Mike walked over to stand behind Kurt and scan down the list, noticing as he did the way Kurt flinched away from him slightly. Not cool. Mike stepped back again, keeping careful distance between them.

 

How we they supposed to do a duet if Kurt was uncomfortable when he got too close? It kind of limited their choices of dances, and if Kurt didn’t want to do it, Mike definitely wasn’t going to force the issue. “What’s your favourite?” he asked. “On your list. I trust you to pick a good one. I was thinking that for the dance we could do like you and Blaine did for the Christmas special? You’re a much better dancer when it’s tightly choreographed, no offense, so if you have a song that’s about the same tempo as Let It Snow, we could do something just like that, no problem.” He was babbling. He knew he was babbling, and Kurt was looking at him with  _something_  in his eyes that kind of hurt, and this had never been an issue before, why couldn’t he shut up? He closed his mouth. There. Done.

 

Kurt smiled and nodded, but it was just a bare crinkle of his lips rather than a full on smile. “Sure, I think I’ve got a couple like that. I remember most of the footwork from Let It Snow, we could almost even just reuse it.” He nodded again decisively, and Mike took it as agreement that Kurt would appreciate him keeping his distance.

 

“Okay, great!” he said, forcing cheer into his voice. “How about we work on that, then, and see where we are with what we need to improve?”

 

A lot needed to improve, it turned out. Kurt cued up the instrumentals they’d recorded for Let It Snow, promising to pick a song that wasn’t a placeholder later, and they improvised the couches that they’d had in the “chalet” by pushing chairs into place. When they actually tried the performance though, it was a complete disaster. Kurt held himself stiffly and nervously, and Mike found himself making several embarrassing missteps despite the relative simplicity of the moves and the fact that he’d helped to choreograph them in the first place.

 

They’d only made it halfway through before Mike gave up, staying in the chair he’d only supposed to have sat down in briefly. “We have a problem,” he admitted.

 

“I could tell,” Kurt agreed, his voice strained and sentences clipped short. He was  _angry_  about something. But what did he have to be angry about? He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and checked the screen. “My dad wants me home. I have to go. I’ll see you later, Mike.”

 

He was gone faster than Mike had ever seen him move, slinging his bag over his shoulder and nearly running for the doors. Mike slumped in his chair, resting his forehead on his hand.

 

Well. That had gone more than a little worse than expected.

 

~*~

 

“I just...I don’t know what I did.”

 

“Well, okay. Let’s talk it through, and maybe we can figure it out.” Kurt craned his neck to look up at Blaine. Blaine smiled down reassuringly and rubbed at his scalp, forcing Kurt to relax into his lap despite his inner turmoil.

 

“I was late to rehearsal, and I was kind of in a bad mood when I got there. Maybe I said something that hurt his feelings? I do that, you know, when I’m mad.”

 

“Yeah, I know you do,” Blaine said, stroking his thumb soothingly across Kurt’s hair to take any sting out of the words. “But why were you in a bad mood?”

 

“A couple of those hockey-playing Neanderthals caught me in the hallway and tossed me around a little.” Blaine stiffened underneath of him, and Kurt caught his free hand. “It was no big deal, really, I promise. It just kind of ruined my day for a little bit. I’m fine.”

 

“Did you tell Mike that? Because I think that he’d be upset about that too. He likes you.” Blaine still sounded slightly choked, and Kurt rubbed a hand over his calf gently.

 

“I didn’t, but this is why I don’t tell people, Blaine. It sucks, but those guys are dumb and I’m better than them. I’m going to get out of this town, and they’re going to be forty and still have mullets and be stuck reliving their glory days while mine are still happening. They can’t get to me. Not anymore, and I won’t give them the satisfaction of thinking that they did.”

 

“Okay,” Blaine whispered. “I just...I don’t like to think about those jerks doing stuff like that to you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know when people hassle you. It’s not okay. At the very least you could tell Brittany. She’s the class president, after all.” Kurt aimed a baleful stare up at him. “I mean, just, Kurt, no one wants you to get hurt. And if you didn’t tell Mike what happened, maybe he got the wrong idea and that’s what made him uncomfortable.”

 

“He seemed fine though, right up until the prospect of touching me when we weren’t in a group came up. I had my list of songs, and he came and stood behind me, and it was like he suddenly realized how close we were and didn’t want me to get any ideas. And then when he was talking about choreography he said he wanted to do something like Let It Snow, and we purposefully set that number up so you and I wouldn’t touch at all. I just- it seemed like it was something else. Not the hockey players.” Kurt bit his lip, and Blaine bent over to give him a quick kiss on the nose.

 

“I’m not saying you’re for sure wrong, but this is Mike we’re talking about. It’s probably a misunderstanding. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met, honestly.”

 

Kurt couldn’t help the frown. “I  _know_ , Blaine, I know I’m being ridiculous. I just can’t help it. All I can think about is Finn telling me that if I sang a duet with Sam I’d be painting a target on his back, and Mike’s been at McKinley as long as I have. He knows what’s at stake if it gets out he’s “gone homo”. The school hasn’t changed. It’s just gotten better at hiding it sometimes.”

 

“I still think you should talk to him,” Blaine said. “And I can’t  _believe_  Finn said that to you. When was this?”

 

“Last year’s duets competition. It was right after Dad’s heart attack, and Sam had just joined the club. It’s not like it wasn’t true. Sam would have got it really bad if he’d sung with me.”

 

“Kurt...” Blaine sounded hopeless, sad, and Kurt smiled up at him.

 

“Its fine, I’m over it. How’s yours and Santana’s performance coming?” Blaine’s expression changed almost amusingly fast from sad to deer-in-headlights.

 

“I guess we’re rapping? I have no idea what’s going on. She just kind of took charge. I’m not sure I want to rap.” Blaine looked bewildered as he considered the possibilities, and it was all Kurt could do to not reach up and pat his cheek. Santana was a bit much for anyone to handle, and for someone as nice as Blaine? Random chance had not been kind to him.

 

“I’m sure you’ll be great, sweetie,” Kurt said. “Mike and I tried to run through Let It Snow, and that was a complete disaster. At least you and Santana are at comparable levels of singing and dancing talent. Mike’s so much better than me at dancing that it’s just sad.”

 

“And you’re so much better at singing, right?” Blaine teased, his eyes sparkling.

 

“Well,  _obviously_ ,” Kurt said, as snootily as he could from such an undignified position. “It’s not like he’s bad though. We just have to pick the right song for his voice. I found one that I think would be perfect, but I don’t know if he’d be comfortable singing it. It’s kind of romantic.”

 

“I don’t know if  _I’d_  be comfortable with you singing a love song with another guy,” Blaine joked. “I might have to vet it first. And you’re definitely going to want to run it by Tina.”

 

“You’re just trying to spy,” Kurt accused, but couldn’t keep the note of laughter out of his voice. “You don’t want to rap so you’re trying to steal my great idea.”

 

“Maybe,” Blaine said mischievously. “Or maybe I feel very threatened and possessive. You better watch out, or I’ll be dragging you off to my cave.”

 

“Who’s to say you’d have to drag me?” Kurt demanded, a smile playing at his lips. He appreciated Blaine trying to cheer him up, even if it was completely transparent. He’d talk to Mike tomorrow, apologize for running off, and try to figure out what had gone wrong. He was being ridiculous. There was no way that Mike Chang, of all people, had a problem with him being gay.

 

He had to suppress a yelp as Blaine pulled him up out of his lap suddenly and pressed their noses together. “The dragging’s half the fun, Kurt, you have to let me drag you.” Kurt tilted his head and met Blaine’s lips in a short kiss.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I do feel better.”

 

“That’s what I’m here for,” Blaine said, smiling brightly. “It’s going to be fine, Kurt. You just need to talk to him.” Blaine paused, then continued, “Can we practice the caveman boyfriend part of your duet now?” He smiled winningly, and Kurt couldn’t hold back a grin with his nod in the instant before Blaine grabbed him and kissed wetly up his neck, his tongue flicking out against the skin of Kurt’s throat.

 

“Oh god, Blaine, gross,” Kurt yelped, pushing at Blaine’s shoulders but betrayed by his own shocked giggle. “What are you _doing_?”

 

“If I’m going to be a caveman boyfriend, I have to act the part,” Blaine explained. “Do you think I should find a club?”

 

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. “The kind you hit people with?” Blaine nodded. “ _No._ ”

 

~*~

 

“He seemed really upset, but with me, not with whoever was bothering him.”

 

“I don’t think Kurt’s still holding the grudge from when you used to stand and watch him get tossed in the dumpster, Mike, if he ever was. He tends to pick and choose his enemies, and you’re not one of them.” Tina patted his back, and he leaned into her shoulder.

 

“I thought we were friends though,” Mike said, forcing the note of petulance in his tone away. “Why wouldn’t he tell me the truth? It was really, and I mean  _really_ , obvious that he wasn’t making out with Blaine and lost track of time.”

 

“He was embarrassed, maybe?” Tina suggested. “Kurt and I have been friends for a while now, and sometimes I have no idea why he does the things he does when he does them, but it usually turns out to be either pride or something that’s in his moral code or something that is completely beyond me. Not admitting to still being bullied seems like a pride thing to me.”

 

“Even then, though,” Mike argued. “He still flinched away when I got too close. I’m not even sure if he knew he did it, but I obviously make him uncomfortable. When I suggested that we do something like Let It Snow, he jumped at the idea. We don’t have to touch to sing a duet, and I’m sure he’d be happier if we didn’t.”

 

“I don’t think you can say that for sure, Mike.” Tina squeezed his shoulders gently. “Kurt’s a bit overbearing sometimes, but if he thinks that you’ll be happier keeping your distance, he’d pretend that he wanted that too.”

 

“What do you think I should do?” Mike asked. “He’s kind of intimidating. What if you’re wrong, and he really doesn’t like me, or I make him nervous, or something like that? How could we sing together after that?”

 

“Mike,” Tina said firmly. “I’ve seen you guys together. You’re friends. Kurt likes you. He doesn’t pretend to like people that he doesn’t, and besides, you’re the most likeable guy in the club. If Kurt can move past Puck tossing him in a dumpster every day for freshman and half of sophomore year, I can guarantee you that he is not still holding a grudge from you watching it happen sometimes.”

 

Mike smiled suddenly, his heart lifting a little. He’d said it to himself, but it felt a lot better to hear it from Tina too. Kurt didn’t dislike him. He’d just been upset, and they’d misunderstood each other. It wasn’t like he and Kurt actually talked much, and they didn’t really know each other that well at all. He turned his head to kiss Tina on the cheek. “Thank you,” he said, before his smile morphed into a grin. “Can you tell me more about how I’m the most likeable guy in New Directions though? My self esteem is a little bruised, and in return I’ll tell you about how you’re the smartest, most beautiful lady McKinley has ever seen.”

 

“I think I can do that,” Tina said teasingly. “You. Are. Perfect.” She punctuated her words with kisses. “And I love you. And this’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

 

Mike snaked his arms around her and drew her close. “If I’m perfect, what are you? What comes after ‘perfect’? Sublime? ‘Cause that’s you.”

 

Tina smiled broadly. “Try not to talk to Kurt like that tomorrow, or he’ll steal you away from me.”

 

“No one could,” Mike whispered. “Ever.”

 

~*~

 

Mike came early to school the next morning and waited by Kurt’s locker. When Kurt rounded the corner, Blaine in tow, he swallowed and reminded himself that it was all a big misunderstanding, and all he had to do was explain himself and it would be okay.

 

Kurt spotted him and dropped Blaine’s hand, whispering in his ear. Blaine smiled at Mike and turned around, walking back around the corner. Kurt approached, a nervous smile playing at his lips.

 

“Hey Mike,” he said quietly. “I, um, I just wanted to say-”

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Mike interrupted. “I’m still not sure what happened, but I really didn’t mean to upset you. Like, at all.”

 

“I’m really sorry I stormed off like that. It was completely unprofessional of me,” Kurt said sincerely. “You were right the first time. I wasn’t with Blaine. My...encounter put me on edge, and I was still upset. I know you’re not like those guys, Mike. I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday.”

 

“You were upset,” Mike said. “I don’t blame you. I just got the impression that you didn’t want me anywhere near you, so I was trying to give you space, but I feel like you thought I didn’t want to be near you, and that’s just not true. We’re friends, even if we don’t know each other that well, really.”

 

Kurt was smiling broadly now. “You really are the nicest guy in New Directions, Mike, how do you put up with us?”

 

“You guys aren’t so terrible once a guy gets to know you.” Mike was smiling back now, his grin feeling like it could split his face in two. “Are we okay?”

 

“We’re fine,” Kurt said, sticking out his hand. “Friends?”

 

Mike took his hand and pulled him into a loose hug. Kurt squeaked in surprise, but Mike held him there until he hesitantly raised his free arm to wrap around Mike. “Friends,” Mike said firmly. “I know we guys don’t always treat you like you’re our friend Kurt, but we do care about you.”

 

“I know you do,” Kurt whispered, letting go of Mike and stepping back. “It’s just that sometimes it’s still really hard to be here everyday, and I know I can be kind of overbearing. I’m working on it.”

 

Mike laid a hand on his shoulder to keep him from retreating further. “I’m not scared of singing a duet with you, I promise. I remember how sad you were last year, and I know things are better now, but I’d still like to sing a  _real_ duet with you to make up for it.”

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Kurt whispered, his voice low and scratchy.

 

“I know,” Mike said. “I want to.” He released Kurt, who swiped quickly at his eyes. “What do you say?”

 

Kurt’s slightly teary grin lit up the hallway. “I’d love to. And I know just the song.”

 

~*~

 

Mike and Kurt stood facing each other on the stage, a single spotlight illuminating them. [The jazzy opening riff ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzDvNz09R0I)started up, and they sang in unison,  _“We’ve got nothin’, got nothin’ in common, just nothin’ in common...”_ Kurt took over, “ _My darling at all!”_

 

_“I love the opera, I detest the best pop,”_  Kurt sang, his nose pointed high in the air.

 

Mike grabbed his hand and twirled him into a simple two-step, singing,  _“Can’t stand the opera, I like music that bops.”_

 

Kurt broke away from Mike, looking out in the audience and reached toward them, singing gently,  _“Cause outside of both having stars in our eyes...”_

 

Mike came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.  _“...And outside of sighing the same kind of sighs...”_  They let out a tiny breath in unison, and as the music crescendoed and sped back up to tempo Kurt twirled away from Mike, putting distance between them as they broke into unison footwork, simple enough for Kurt, but flashy looking enough that Mike could show off.

 

_“...We’ve got nothin’ in common, at all.”_

 

Kurt allowed Mike to sweep him up into the two step again, singing,  _“Our two goals are apart as the poles are...”_

 

Mike pulled him close and dipped him low, looking in his eyes and growling slightly with the lyrics,  _“...As lovers our roles are completely miscast!”_  He pulled Kurt back up, and Kurt allowed himself to swoon slightly but obviously as they rejoined their voices in unison as the music slowed.

 

_“Let’s make a clean break, and not take any chances...”_  They stood close, hands on each other’s elbows and leaning in only slightly.

 

Mike leaned in further, so their lips were only inches apart.  _“Cause outside of thinking you’re something divine...”_

 

Kurt pushed in a little further, close enough that he could feel Mike’s breath.  _“And outside of wanting your lips close to mine...”_

 

They sprang apart again and sang together,  _“We’ve got nothin’ in common...”_  Kurt grabbed Mike this time, dancing side by side and arm in arm with the most complicated footwork he could manage.  _“...We’ve got nothin’ in common at all!”_  They held their last long note through the band’s ending, letting it drop into the silence after and striking a pose.

 

Kurt bowed first when the rest of New Directions burst into applause after a shocked moment of silence, Mike following suit. The house lights came up as the spotlight flicked off, and they looked around at their cheering teammates.

 

Kurt huffed a deep breath and held it to slow his heart rate, smiling broadly down off the edge of the stage at Blaine, who was looking back at him with an odd expression on his face.

 

“I think that might actually have been better than mine and Sam’s interpretation of the Star Wars Gangsta Rap,” Artie said in a shocked voice. “Good job, you guys.”

 

“Well, they did have the advantage of not having to censor every second word,” Sam mumbled.

 

“Also, I couldn’t help but notice that Kurt didn’t get dropped by  _his_  partner,” Tina said, glancing sidelong at Finn.

 

“He didn’t step on his feet either,” Brittany added helpfully.

 

“And it even looks like everyone’s nose is still intact,” Santana said brightly, smirking at Finn.

 

Finn slid down in his chair, scowling. Rachel patted his hand sympathetically.

 

“Okay, guys,” Mr. Schue said from the judging table. “Lay off Finn. He did apologize. Great work, Mike, Kurt, you guys killed it. We’ll add up everybody’s scores and get back to you with the winner, okay? We’re done for the day.”

 

The rest of the group gathered up their bags and disappeared, leaving Kurt and Mike alone with Blaine and Tina, who were looking at them with huge grins.

 

“Well,” Blaine said finally. “I’m unbearably jealous. Caveman time?”

 

Mike stole a sidelong glance at Kurt that he saw out of the corner of his eye. “Caveman time?” he repeated. “What’s that?”

 

“No need to explain, I totally get it,” Tina interrupted as Kurt felt a blush steal up his face at the thought of elaborating. “And I agree. Caveman time. That was a sweet duet, but I’m kind of feeling the need to assert myself.” She climbed up the stairs to the stage, taking Mike by the hand. “We’ll see you later.”

 

“Okay!” Blaine said brightly, his tone a little too excited at the prospect of being alone with Kurt to pass for normal peppiness. “Bye guys!”

 

“Uh, bye?” Mike said, sounding slightly bemused. “That was fun Kurt, great work!” he called out as Tina led him around the corner.

 

“Thanks!” Kurt called back. “You were fantastic!”

 

“Fantastic is one word for it,” Blaine whispered, wrapping an arm around Kurt’s waist. “I thought you were really going to kiss there for a second.”

 

“Not quite,” Kurt snorted. “I like my intestines right where they are, thanks, and I think Tina may actually be more possessive than Rachel. Oh!” he yelped as Blaine spun him around and held him close. “Are you going to lick my neck again?” he asked, smiling down at Blaine when he’d regained his balance.

 

“Nah, that’s so last week. I was just going to drag you backstage and kiss you silly, if that’s okay?” Blaine’s eyes sparked playfully, and Kurt felt a rush of heat in his belly.

 

“Oh,” he said, more breathlessly than he intended. “That would be okay, I suppose,” he said after a deep inhale that had Blaine’s gaze fixed firmly on his lips. “I mean, I’ve already been manhandled a fair bit today, so you’re really going to have to try to make an impression, but I wouldn’t fault you for it.”

 

“It looks like you and Mike got over your problem,” Blaine said quietly, loosening his grip. “That was the best part, I thought.”

 

“It really was a miscommunication,” Kurt said simply. “He didn’t have any problem at all. I was being silly.”

 

“You weren’t, though,” Blaine said. “The nicest guys can have problems like that; you and I have both lived it. You were wrong, but that doesn’t mean you were silly.”

 

Kurt leaned down to kiss Blaine slowly, lingering close to his lips when they broke apart. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Now I believe I was promised caveman Blaine? I was looking forward to him all week.”

 

Blaine grinned and crouched slightly, locking his arms around Kurt’s waist and standing up so Kurt’s feet dangled just above the ground. Kurt squawked and put his hands on Blaine’s shoulder for balance. “This is not safe!” he complained as Blaine carried him through the curtains at the back of the stage. “Can you even see where you’re going?”

 

“No!” Blaine said, his breath tickling against Kurt’s chest. “You’d better steer.”

 

“Oh my god!” Kurt exclaimed, twisting around to see where they were headed. “Stop! Stop!” Blaine stumbled to a stop just before walking Kurt into a pillar, letting him slide back down onto his feet.

 

“Oops?” he said apologetically, peering past Kurt to the pillar. “Maybe we should just make out. Still want to?”

 

Kurt swatted his arm. “Of course I do!”

 

“Okay,” Blaine breathed out, taking a couple short steps to crowd Kurt up against the pillar. Kurt flicked his tongue out over his lips in anticipation, walking his feet apart to allow easy access. Blaine was just closing the final inch between them when-

 

“Um, guys?” Tina said quietly from where she had Mike pressed up against a dressing room door. “We were here first.”

 

Blaine stepped back quickly, and Kurt’s face was burning with heat and embarrassment before he was even looking at them. “We are just going to go then,” Kurt said with as much dignity as he could muster, holding out his hand for Blaine. “Goodbye, um, again.”

 

“Bye!” Mike said cheerfully, keeping one arm around Tina’s waist but disentangling the other to wave at them. “See you tomorrow, Kurt!”

 

“Bye, Mike,” Kurt mumbled, keeping his eyes carefully averted as he led Blaine past them. “See you guys.”

 

“Maybe next time you guys sing together it should be a little less romantic,” Blaine suggested once they were safely away.

 

“Oh, probably,” Kurt said. “We just both thought it was really fun. And I do have you to sing romantic duets with.”

 

“Oh, I see,” Blaine huffed. “You’re just using me for my voice.”

 

“You love it,” Kurt teased. “Now let’s go see if we can beat Carole home from her shift so we can make out.”

 

“Okay!” Blaine agreed quickly, shedding his fake offense. “Can I still be a caveman, though?”

 

“Only if I can be too,” Kurt said. “Santana was all over you during that rap, I don’t care if she’s gay.”

 

Blaine shrugged. “That’s fair.” They walked in silence for a few strides before Blaine cocked his head to one side. “What  _was_  the prize? Mr. Schue never said.”

 

“Breadstix coupons,” Kurt said, shrugging. “He’s not exactly original. Plus, I saw them sticking out of his pocket.”

 

“Why wouldn’t he just say that then?” Blaine asked, speeding up his stride.

 

“Element of mystery, maybe? I don’t know why he does anything, really. Double date if one of us wins though?”

 

“I’m not going out to dinner with Santana alone, Kurt,” Blaine said seriously. “I’m not sure you’d get me back in one piece. And if you went with Mike alone, I don’t think I could stand the jealousy. It’ll have to be doubles.”

 

“I’m sure that you’ll be able to make me forget all about Mike,” Kurt said. “How tall and strong he is, his abs, his face, his lovely personality...” Kurt trailed off and sighed. Blaine looked at him with enormous eyes.

 

“Kurt?” he asked, something like worry mixed with arousal in his voice. “You don’t... _like_  him, do you?”

 

Kurt smiled and shook his head, pulling Blaine down the hallway. “C’mon, caveman, you’ve got work to do.”

 

**END**


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